Conflicts in our day to day life

Conflicts in our day to day life

  We do face various kinds of conflict almost at everywhere. At home, at office /workplace ,during travel etc. And more important ,many times, we suffer from conflicts with self which leads to delay in decision making , loss of positive energy , development of incomplete personality. 

There is no doubt that conflict is an inevitable part of life. Each of us possesses our own opinions, ideas and sets of beliefs. We have our own ways of looking at things and we act according to what we think is proper. Hence, we often find ourselves in conflict in different scenarios; may it involve other individuals, groups of people, or a struggle within our own selves. Consequently, conflict influences our actions and decisions in one way or another.

Conflict is classified into the following four types:

• Interpersonal conflict refers to a conflict between two individuals. This occurs typically due to how people are different from one another. We have varied personalities which usually results to incompatible choices and opinions. Sometimes it can eventually help in personal growth or developing your relationships with others. In addition, coming up with adjustments is necessary for managing this type of conflict. However, when interpersonal conflict gets too destructive, calling in a mediator would help so as to have it resolved.

• Intrapersonal conflict occurs within an individual. The experience takes place in the person’s mind. Hence, it is a type of conflict that is psychological involving the individual’s thoughts, values, principles and emotions. Intrapersonal conflict may come in different scales, from the simpler mundane ones like deciding whether or not to go  for lunch to ones that can affect major decisions such as choosing a career path. Furthermore, this type of conflict can be quite difficult to handle if you find it hard to decipher your inner struggles. It leads to restlessness and uneasiness, or can even cause depression. In such occasions, it would be best to seek a way to let go of the anxiety through communicating with other people. Eventually, when you find yourself out of the situation, you can become more empowered as a person. Thus, the experience evoked a positive change which will help you in your own personal growth.

• Intragroup conflict is a type of conflict that happens among individuals within a team. The incompatibilities and misunderstandings among these individuals lead to an intragroup conflict. It is arises from interpersonal disagreements (e.g. team members have different personalities which may lead to tension) or differences in views and ideas (e.g. in a presentation, members of the team might find the notions presented by the one presiding to be erroneous due to their differences in opinion). Within a team, conflict can be helpful in coming up with decisions which will eventually allow them to reach their objectives as a team.

• Intergroup conflict takes place when a misunderstanding arises among different teams within an organization. For instance, the programme wing  of a media organization can come in conflict with the technical department. This is due to the varied sets of goals and interests of these different groups. In addition, competition also contributes for intergroup conflict to arise. There are other factors which fuel this type of conflict. Some of these factors may include a rivalry in resources .

Conflict may seem to be a problem to some, but this isn’t how conflict should be perceived. On the other hand, it is an opportunity for growth and can be an effective means of opening up among groups or individuals. However, when conflict begins to draws back productivity and gives way to more conflicts, then conflict management would be needed to come up .

Here is experience of a lady who has shared her views on conflict in these lines:

"My husband and I got married after only three dates. Three weeks after the wedding, we had our first fight. An extreme conflict avoider, I packed my bags and walked out. Rich chased after me. “Turn around,” he said. “Let’s sit down and have a conversation. There are two things we have to learn to do — one is to fight, the other is to make up.” We’ve now been practicing both for 44 years."

So effective leadership, like a good marriage, hinges on how you deal with the tough stuff. But addressing and resolving conflicts requires enormous mental and emotional strength, which is why many of us try to avoid it. When confronted with a problem or dispute, we either move away (flee the scene, rely on others for resolution), move against (quietly using positional power to quell opposing arguments) or move toward (make nice, give in). This is natural. We instinctively want to avoid the risk of loss and social embarrassment, to stick with our points of view, to preserve relationships and the status quo.

But all three strategies are wrong-headed. When you fail to engage with a conflict, you can’t gather the input you need to find a workable solution. And it hurts your image as a leader. So we need to learn to embrace, rather than avoid, disagreement. 

For a peaceful life dealing and eliminating conflicts from our life and also from our surroundings is always desired. What we need to do is develop our own internal strength, recognise our own value, recognise the value of other people and accept and understand the diversity in our world.

Characteristics of Ethical People

Ethics is a central component of any happy, healthy, and mature life. In any organisation  . ethical people are in great demand. They always prove to be more useful to the organisation in their work output in comparison to non ethical persons, who may times become liability in their own organisation.
Some hardcore characteristics of ethical persons are:

1- They are Empathic: Ethical people have high degree of emotional intelligence. They understand things from multiple perspectives covering all the direct and indirect stake holders.. They seek first to understand than to be understood. They have strong observatory, listening and analytical skills to understand things deeply. This quality makes them unique which enables them to win the trust of others; consequently, people share their problems with them with open heart and seek their support.

2- They Forgive and Forget: It requires a brave heart to forgive and forget. Ethical people don't keep grudges for long duration. They have the tendency to establish peace all the times hence keeping the brawls open does not suit them. They stay away from such complications and move ahead with life by forgiving and forgetting the matters.

3- They are Always willing to Help: Highly Ethical people always want to improve the situation regardless of their relationship with a person who is in trouble. They take either corrective, preventive or suggestive initiatives for resolving issues. Corrective approach ensures that the matter is fixed by doing some specific actions. Preventive approach guarantees that such particular matters do not appear again. They use preventive approach to reach the root cause of the issue so as to fix it permanently so as to avoid further frequency of such incidents. Suggestive methodology is used by them for guiding someone to do some specific act in order to overcome a tragic situation.

4- They are Implosive: Ethical people are not hyper sensitive or explosive personalities. They possess a cool mind and a soft heart. They avoid frequent mood swings in order to develop a consistent and stable personality. They handle indecencies with decency. They know how to ignore hard and harsh comments and still converse softly. They know how to handle idiotic situations. They have high degree of anger management skills which further empowers their implosive personality trait.

5- They Mind Their Own Business: A lot of people have the habit of having serious curiosity about every other person's life. This habit causes them talk about people too much, spreading rumors and scattering false news in the society without any verification. Unlike those, ethical People do not interfere in others' lives unnecessarily; they mind their own business. Ethical people understand the fact the character assassination is equally a great sin so they don't give attention to rumors and focus on crystal clear matters; and avoid peeping into others' personal matters.

6- They are Flexible & adaptable: The wise says, it is better to bend than to break. Ethical people possess a great deal of elasticity. They adapt themselves according to the situation. They don't stick to one mind set. Their continuous thought process enables them to change their minds easily in order to improve a situation without making it a matter of ego. They are not stubborn at all instead portray a flexible behavior in all kind of tough situations.

7- They Do not criticize: Too much criticism is the root of several social and professional problems. Ethical people do not criticize at first place. In case they need to condemn or criticize something they follow a positive methodology to approach the relevant person and advice in a way which doesn't hurt anyone and convey the message in an effective way.

Sory with management lesson

It may appears strange but it is a fact that in the world of management , it is not efficiency and honesty counts. These two stories really give us eye opening management lessons:



Story # 1


It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.


Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"

Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"

Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more."


Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"


Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"

Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.


Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"


Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"

Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV.

Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene : Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral : IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

Management Lesson in the context of the working world : IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES

Story # 2


It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"

Rabbit: "My thesis."

Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"

Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

Fox: "That's ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!


Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"


Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?

Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."

Bear: "Well that's absurd !"

Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"

Scene : As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.


Moral: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.


Management Lesson in the context of the working world: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT

----- A lot of people like me are experiancing both the above lessons--------

Managing Self

Management = Manage + men + T(technolgy). so it is clear that in management we manage people and Technlolgy. Everyone is talking management now a days. Its importance is increasing day by day. All of us try to manage people at home, at office , at meeting places or practically everywhere. What we miss is that while attempting to manage others , we fail to manage self. We all want to be seen as competent and likable. But sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves and are in danger of maintaining that very image.We are responsible for everything that happens in our life. We should learn to accept total responsibility for ourself. If we do not manage ourself, then we are letting others have control of our Iife.
The prerequisites for successful self management are:

1. Health (this is most important - anything comesafter this)
2. Appearance ( Confident outlook in appearance is must )
3. Knowledge (Nothing new to write about its importance)
4. Attitude (Positive attitude even at worst time)
5. Skill
a. Communiaction skill
b. Presentation skill
c. Leading n Motivating skill
d. Time management skill
e. Creative skill
ALL THE ABOVE SKILLS CAN BE DEVELOPED WITH PROPER PRACTICE, GUIDENCE N PATIENCE. If we acquire all the above attributes, we will be successfull manager without any doubt.

Some additional tips:

+ Look at every new opportunity as an exciting and new-life experience.
+ If you catch yourself worrying about an upcoming task, go ahead and do it now so it no longer is a distraction.
+ Get into the habit of finishing what you start.
+ Give up "waiting time" forever. Have something with you at all times to work on. For example: plan your day, work on a report, or read a page from your book
+ Be a professional who exhibits self-confidence and self-assurance in your potential to complete any task.
+ Avoid worry. The majority of the things you worry about never occur.
+ Agree with yourself in advance that you will have a good attitude toward the upcoming task.
+ Take a chance-calculated risks pay off .
+ Frequently ask, "Is what I am doing right now moving me toward my goals?"
+ Plan the future, but live in the present.
And finally FIRST PRACTICE THEN PREACH, if you wish to manage others.