It is a wellknown fact that situation in a person's life keep on changing and that facing a difficult situation is simply part of your life. We want to change or get out of such situation at the earliest.People are normally negative and pessimistic by nature.We usually tend to come down on the side of negativity , bad feelings, anger and sadness. Moreover if you are in loving relationship then you expect some extra support from your partner and if the support is not up to your expextation, you feel more sad and some times depressed.
if this is the situation, it means that this is not a mature and mutually loving and giving relationship. When you feel like that and if you want to be happy in life you should stop for a while and develop some self-confidence in your own life. If a person is not happy alone he will not be happy in company with other person. A person must be happily independent before he can create a healthy and mutually loving relationship. Relationship should only add to an already happy life. When people are not very confident and happy in their own lives they look to others and better circumstances to make them happy and it never works. Then they become resentful and angry about it because they expected the other person to solve their own unhappiness, and end up miserable anyway.
People aren't taught to be happy. We aren't raised that way. Parents raise us to be responsible, to get a job, and to take care of ourself, but does that include happiness? We do the best we can. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to know whether people are truly happy or putting on a good show. You cannot look at someone's exterior and know what's going on inside. Are they living true to themselves, or are they living a lie of some sort?
I or anyone donot feel to be happy all the time . Why?
1.Somehow I have accepted my place last on the list of importance in my life. I seem to matter less than everyone else. I spend my time attempting to make everyone else happy and have never considered my own happiness.
2.I cannot say "no" to any request. I don't know how to stand up for myself and I hate the idea of confrontation. I cannot stand to not be liked so I go out of my way for people to like me. I am a good girl or boy and do as I am told. This isn't always happy, I don't feel like people really respect me, but it's a huge boost for my self-esteem .
3.I avoid things that need to be said or done. Either I deny the unhappiness in my life or I know it's there but refuse to address it.
4.Someone else is to blame for my unhappiness. It's not my fault. I refuse to accept responsibility for my life and, in so doing, I give my power to some entity outside myself to control how I feel inside. Being a victim keeps me powerless.
There are, of course, many other barriers to success and happiness. If you are not comfortable with feeling good, then you will avoid it. Unless you are consciously seeking a new experience, as a creature of habit, you will automatically do things the way you've always done them and you will want to feel the way that is most familiar and known to you, even if it doesn't feel good.
so the best way is:
Give yourself permission to be happy and to feel good, to be successful . That is the first step to change. Give yourself permission to go after what feels good for you. Take a life inventory and assess where you are right now and where, perhaps you are not so happy. Be rigorously honest with yourself because awareness is the power you need to make a difference. Happiness is created by eliminating the things that get in the way as much as it is by doing what you love. And often what needs to be eliminated is the junk that goes on in our heads. Happiness is really an inside job. Happiness comes with an untroubled inner world. Learn to align your mind and happiness will come easier and will be sustainable.
Sunday 16 August 2009
Wednesday 12 August 2009
Time Management
Most of people often complain that they fail to fulfil their commitment due to lack of time. That is really shocking because everyone knows that we have been given 24 hour cycle and our life have to be adjusted into this and not vice versa. So it is really important to work smart then just to work hard.Only hard work may or may not give you desired result but smart work, it is gurrented. Let me quote from a article read just a few days ago- Ensure that you will be working smart, not just hard. Donot go fishing at the bathtub. Donot try to work up lather in a running stream.Instead, fish in a stream and work up lather in a bathtub. Set and evaluate your goals, estimate the quantum and quality of efforts to be invested in attaining the goals. Calculate the ROI(Return on investment)quotient carefully and then, and if you are convinced that the ratio is satisfactory, go ahead and work towards your goals. that is smart work and intelligent effort.
We have many desires and targets. We donot always gets what we want. Some of us are happy with what we get and others remain dissatisfied. Still others donot give up.Now the question is which approach is right one?
In a wider perspective, let us see in this way. You can have a desire. Put in your best effort to fulfil it. But make sure you enjoy the effort rather then its fruits. There are those who make the effort grumbling and are happy only when the desired is achieved. There are others who exhaust themselves making the effort to such a degree that they have no strength or enthusiam left to enjoy the fruit. The best way is however , enjoy the effort no matter what the effect.
It is always better to celebrate the march towards destination. If the destination is reached , we will be happy. If not, nobody can take away the sense of thrill at having run the race!Happiness should be derived not from reaching a goal but from strugle of attempt at reaching this goal. For example, playing cricket is one kind of joy, winning is another kind. So even if you lose the game no one can snatch from you the joy of playing the game. So one should enjoy the travel, enjoy the endeavour no matter what the result is.
so the bottem line is - ENJOY THE EFFORT NO MATTER WHAT THE EFFECT
We have many desires and targets. We donot always gets what we want. Some of us are happy with what we get and others remain dissatisfied. Still others donot give up.Now the question is which approach is right one?
In a wider perspective, let us see in this way. You can have a desire. Put in your best effort to fulfil it. But make sure you enjoy the effort rather then its fruits. There are those who make the effort grumbling and are happy only when the desired is achieved. There are others who exhaust themselves making the effort to such a degree that they have no strength or enthusiam left to enjoy the fruit. The best way is however , enjoy the effort no matter what the effect.
It is always better to celebrate the march towards destination. If the destination is reached , we will be happy. If not, nobody can take away the sense of thrill at having run the race!Happiness should be derived not from reaching a goal but from strugle of attempt at reaching this goal. For example, playing cricket is one kind of joy, winning is another kind. So even if you lose the game no one can snatch from you the joy of playing the game. So one should enjoy the travel, enjoy the endeavour no matter what the result is.
so the bottem line is - ENJOY THE EFFORT NO MATTER WHAT THE EFFECT
Monday 10 August 2009
Shades of Friendship
We all have friends. People have tendency to divide friends into true , good and best friends. That is not unnatural because among friends we really develop some kind of extra intimacy with some one and rightly he/she is termed as true /best friend. And rest remains good friends. But to say that some friends are bad or even worst is not fair.Friendship is a pious word and you can not associate it for someone who is bad/worst for you. A friend may develop some bad habits , even he may become really bad in terms of social parameters, yet he may remain your friend, if his attitude remains the same for you.A bad person can be your good friend and at the same time a bad 'friend' can be a good person. that is what we say Interpersonal relationship. The moment a friend behaves in unfriendly manner / deceives you, he ceases to be your friend. He then becomes bad or worst person only. He at the most can be a nonfriend of you. A nonfriend does not deserve friendly treatment, he deserve proper courtsey and manner. A person can be your neighbour, your colleague , your co worker, your supervisor, your boss , your subordinate,your copassenger etc , they all deserve respect, courtsey and disciplined behaviour from you. Friendly behaviour should be reserved for friends only.Mutual trust is cornerstone of friendship. so one should be careful in choosing a friend.
Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true friend. Friendship is the most important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family , most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration. How do we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship?
The very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies. You will call your friend at any hour and talk without any thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk.
A true friend is a little more than a very good friend. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his/her own interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without any analysis or criticism. A true friend will come forward to help without any request and be with us in need without showing it or expecting anything in return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the extent possible by him/her.
A true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. A true friend is not an opportunist. if you have a true friend, treat yourself lucky.
But irony is that sometimes your really nice and good friend can give you a lesson, even hard lesson !
Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true friend. Friendship is the most important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family , most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration. How do we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship?
The very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies. You will call your friend at any hour and talk without any thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk.
A true friend is a little more than a very good friend. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his/her own interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without any analysis or criticism. A true friend will come forward to help without any request and be with us in need without showing it or expecting anything in return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the extent possible by him/her.
A true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. A true friend is not an opportunist. if you have a true friend, treat yourself lucky.
But irony is that sometimes your really nice and good friend can give you a lesson, even hard lesson !