It is a wellknown fact that situation in a person's life keep on changing and that facing a difficult situation is simply part of your life. We want to change or get out of such situation at the earliest.People are normally negative and pessimistic by nature.We usually tend to come down on the side of negativity , bad feelings, anger and sadness. Moreover if you are in loving relationship then you expect some extra support from your partner and if the support is not up to your expextation, you feel more sad and some times depressed.
if this is the situation, it means that this is not a mature and mutually loving and giving relationship. When you feel like that and if you want to be happy in life you should stop for a while and develop some self-confidence in your own life. If a person is not happy alone he will not be happy in company with other person. A person must be happily independent before he can create a healthy and mutually loving relationship. Relationship should only add to an already happy life. When people are not very confident and happy in their own lives they look to others and better circumstances to make them happy and it never works. Then they become resentful and angry about it because they expected the other person to solve their own unhappiness, and end up miserable anyway.
People aren't taught to be happy. We aren't raised that way. Parents raise us to be responsible, to get a job, and to take care of ourself, but does that include happiness? We do the best we can. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to know whether people are truly happy or putting on a good show. You cannot look at someone's exterior and know what's going on inside. Are they living true to themselves, or are they living a lie of some sort?
I or anyone donot feel to be happy all the time . Why?
1.Somehow I have accepted my place last on the list of importance in my life. I seem to matter less than everyone else. I spend my time attempting to make everyone else happy and have never considered my own happiness.
2.I cannot say "no" to any request. I don't know how to stand up for myself and I hate the idea of confrontation. I cannot stand to not be liked so I go out of my way for people to like me. I am a good girl or boy and do as I am told. This isn't always happy, I don't feel like people really respect me, but it's a huge boost for my self-esteem .
3.I avoid things that need to be said or done. Either I deny the unhappiness in my life or I know it's there but refuse to address it.
4.Someone else is to blame for my unhappiness. It's not my fault. I refuse to accept responsibility for my life and, in so doing, I give my power to some entity outside myself to control how I feel inside. Being a victim keeps me powerless.
There are, of course, many other barriers to success and happiness. If you are not comfortable with feeling good, then you will avoid it. Unless you are consciously seeking a new experience, as a creature of habit, you will automatically do things the way you've always done them and you will want to feel the way that is most familiar and known to you, even if it doesn't feel good.
so the best way is:
Give yourself permission to be happy and to feel good, to be successful . That is the first step to change. Give yourself permission to go after what feels good for you. Take a life inventory and assess where you are right now and where, perhaps you are not so happy. Be rigorously honest with yourself because awareness is the power you need to make a difference. Happiness is created by eliminating the things that get in the way as much as it is by doing what you love. And often what needs to be eliminated is the junk that goes on in our heads. Happiness is really an inside job. Happiness comes with an untroubled inner world. Learn to align your mind and happiness will come easier and will be sustainable.
2 comments:
man is hardly taught to be happy ,but still happiness is just as intrinsic to mankind as feeling of pain ,hunger etc.see a small poor rural child splashing in muddy water in monsoon ,and then u will realise that happiness is less based on circumstances ;it is more based on one's reaction to them .Ditto with relationships. ANY RELATION CANT BRING U HAPPINNESS UNTIL U REALISE THAT INSPITE OF ALL UPS N DOWNS,ENJOYMENT N TURMOIL, U BOTH CARE FOR EACH OTHER N WISH TO CONTINUE IT WITHOUT ANY NEED.Here 'need' means need to 'use' each other for solving problem,finding happiness etc.wHEN U R IN ANY LOVING RELATIONSHIP U WOULD RATHER FEEL STRENGTH TO ACCEPT PROBLEM N THINK A SOLUTION THAN MOAN ABOUT OTHER PERSON NOT SOLVING YOUR PROBLEM.In fact noone can solve others problem or make happy, but can help to bear the storm with courage n patience n also enjoy this process. If one wants to be truly happy one should try to create awareness n seek happiness within and also to dispel unhappiness.
U r right. In fact I just remember what famous cricketer Andrew mathew told in a radio interview that people in India are different from others in a fact that they can remain happy even without money and this fact impressed him a lot. Money has no relation with happiness is traditional Indian view. However as importance of money is increasing everyday, at least people in developed country do feel that without money , there is no happiness.Unfortunately, in todays materailstic world everyone ig going mad for money leaving his happiness behind.
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