Fear and Hatred

It has been told to me that fear and hatred both are inter related. I just wish to give a thought over it. In my view both fear and hatred are fuelled by our mind and are often cause of most of our miseries.They disturb creative force of our mind, corrupt our thinking process , finally leading to unhappiness and even suffering.
Fear drives us to acquire power, feeling that if we can dominate, we will be secure. But this kind of power can become perverse and is often due to our insecurities. The more powerful we become, the more we worry about someone else becoming powerful. The Cold War between America and the Soviet Union is a classic example of how fear drives towards madness.Fear leads only to an unending sense of insecurity, of not having enough, of not being 'the best'.
Many of our fears may appear less dramatic, but they may not be less destructive. Some people spend their entire life fearful that they will not meet someone else's standards. Even office gossip has its roots in fear. If we can make others look small, and by so doing make ourselves look better, we compensate for the fear of being unimportant.
Most of us think that if we were only richer, prettier, stronger, taller, slimmer-or if we had a better job, bigger car, bigger house, more friends, nice lovers, more respect -the adjectives are almost endless-then we wouldn't fear anything, and we would be happy.In my view that is not correct.
Often fear is not created by a lack of things, it is created by how we think. If you have the habit of worrying, it doesn't matter who you are, what you have, or what you do, you will worry because that is the habit of your mind. This useless habit is one of the biggest causes of unhappiness. And yet it has become so much a part of our life that we even think that fear is a natural part of human life.
And due to this we suffer from guilt, and find fault with ourselves, condemn ourselves for not living up to our own or someone else's expectations. That often leads to hatred towards someone or may even lead to self hatred. This self hatred particularly can be very dangerous in destructing a person's personality.
It has been said that"Hate is the consequence of fear; we fear something before we hate it". Hate is an emotion of intense revulsion and enmity for a person or a thing. The emotion of hate is a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action.And action due to fear and hate culminates into conflicts . When we are engaged in conflicts it leads to unnecessery stress and tension.But at the same time since you cannot control other persons behaviour, you have to face this hatred. This is unavoidable in todays world and we have to develop habit of living in situation full of hatred.
However,It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.It's a sign of your own worth sometimes if you are hated by some people.

A funny story

Sometime you have to find some unusual ways to get things done properly. I have just read a really funny story. I will like to share this:-

Online chat

One FRIEND WAS chatting with a female .
( both are software engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC’s )
Male : Hey…GM (Good Morning)… How’s u doing today?
Female : VGM…Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat
Male : wow…am honoured, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat
Female : Yep…me too feel the same…Brb (be right back)’ll get some Coffee.
Male : OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager : Hey, I need some help from you
Male : [**** This *** always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager : Could u write a program for me which generates 'n'th prime number, Given value of n.Would you give this by today evening?
Male : I would do that, but I think it’s quite hard, is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window…)
Female : Hey, am back
Male : cool, you know what my manager does, She’s kinda….. keeps asking stupid Things,tries to give me stupid work
Female : Yeah, it’s the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!
Male : Yep, u rite!!
Female : Hey, can u do me a favor?
Male : (smiles) sure, why not.
Female : Hey, I want you to write me a program to print 'n'th prime Number, given N. Would
you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it’s real Urgent for me to work this out
Male : hey, that’s a one-hour’s work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now. ok?
Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM!!
AND ONE MORE POINT…. YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!

REALLY FUNNY !
MORAL : there is nothing wrong in exploring bizzare ways to get the work done.

Valentine day for me

We might have missed the deeper meaning of Valentine's day by singling out romantinc love as focus of this day's ultimate meaning. Love is multifaceted.It is much more, ya, much more then simply emotion.love is a force that can motivate,create,heal and transform the lives of anyone it touches. Many of us have forgotten that this day was created to recognise a saint.

We can see that the story of St. valentine represents many aspects of love.It was his love for God and his commitment to his values that made him to disobey the law.His respect for romantic love is also included in his disobedience.

SO what we should do on this day? in my view - being our own valentine, sharing meaningful and heartful appreciation to all the important persons in our life will be the ideal thing i.e. it should not be limited to our lover only, and finally recommiting to our spiritual values.

We will feel the real joy of life as we release the force of love into our life.

This may seem too simplistic, but love works.

A SPECIAL PERSON

What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult to each other?” sURE But unfortunately normally it does not happen. Most people, yes I repeat most people do make other persons life more difficult.This is particularly more true in certain places and organisations.
however there are some persons who are really special. they always do the useful thing, they say the courageous thing, they contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough to make them something special.
T heyTrustworthy, empathetic, a good listener, honest, willing to uplift me when life gets me down.Consideration, humour, a sense of fun, understanding & empathy.and sometime not taking me too seriously as I can be too serious and need to lighten up !
What should be in a person to make him/her different
trustworthy- This is the core
Honest
Kind hearted
Devoid of jeolosy
forgiveness
Humour
Kindness and Warmth.
Loyalty (Steadfastness----Always there for you).
Open-mindedness.
Acceptance of who you are and your shortcomings.
Sincerity.
normally any man gets attracted towards a beautiful face.Beautiful faces can be seen anywhere But it is very rare that a HEART RESIDING IN A BEAUTIFUL BODY IS MUCH MORE BEATUIFUL.
TO HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FACE IS GODS WORK BUT TO DEVELOP A BEAUTIFUL HEART IS WORK OF SPECIAL PERSON ONLY.
AND ME LUCKY TO HAVE ONE.

Handling Relationship

Developing a relationship is one the most beautiful experience in a person’s life. However sometime, presumptions made on account of past behavior often have negative effect. I have often thought on this aspect a number of times. How we should handle a relationship. We need to ponder over this. Because stress suffered on account of dysfunctional relationships in our professional and personal lives can be a great impediment to our well being. Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.
I think too much proximity breeds contempt is a fact as we all live and suffer through over bearing involvement with another individual’s life. Sometimes this suffocates a relationship.
Opposites attract is good reminder when we find ourselves drifting away in a relationship on account of differences of opinion and functional style. To have differences up to a level is a good and healthy thing but they should not go beyond comfort level.
It is also necessary to have regular and good communication . This should involve both speaking and listening, the later should be given much more attention.
Often commitments are made easier then kept. It is better to make fewer commitments but keep them to save the heart from burning.
Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.
It is always better to go for fresh approach in the middle of a conflict because that can be tonic of to tackle bitterness. It is true that all disagreements are results of misunderstanding someone else's level of consciousness