Mind taking a break and relationship

Resuming blogging after a short break... Brain cells tire out thinking a lot of topics and weighing the advantages of one topic against the other! So they badly needed a break!
After a long long time, I'm having something that I never had for years - a blank mind. Absolutely deprived of any thoughts, any purpose and any confusions...
Some kind of thought always occupies my mind - be it philosophy, spirituality, family, relationships, self analysis, work, career, something... something has always been there. I always had something to say... something to share.. But now a days I do feel that my mind is a bit blank, devoid of any serious thinking..
Sometimes the confusing problems come back to the mind, and I become further frustrated. Thinking about something else for a while relieves the mind from the pressures of the problems.
When I say thinking about something relieves me, it only means the beautiful relationship which I have developed. I know that thinking about this makes me cool , n calm. I just think about this relationship and I feel that ecerything is fine for me , that this relationship reiterates that I have lost nothing , that so much good things are waiting for me. so no doubt I am lucky having such a perfect friend.
It is not easy to develop perfect relationship. In my view relationship can be lifelasting only when both partners know the weakness of each other and are even ready for a fight on issues they differ. Such "fighting" only strenghtens their bonding of friendship.
Many relationships fail because one person tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their partner will change the bad habits . It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character. Thus, having high expectation will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

"Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One"

Life Moments

EVERY MOMENTS OF LIFE SHOULD BE ENJOYED- This has become mantra of the day. In my view "enjoying" life is a new concept perhaps borrowed from west. If we look at our own culture, we will find that more importance has been given to live life in a disciplined and dignified manner then to simply explore the ways for enjoyment. as per Hindu mythology the human life is also seen as four Ashramas .They are Brahmacharya, Grihasthya, Vanaprastha and Sanyasa. The first quarter of one's life, brahmacharya is spent in celibate, sober and pure contemplation of life's secrets under a Guru, building up body and mind for the responsibilities of life. Grihastya is the householder's stage, in which one marries and satisfies kama and artha within a married life and professional career. Vanaprastha is gradual detachment from the material world, ostensibly giving over duties to one's sons and daughters, and making holy pilgrimages. Finally, in sanyasa, the individual goes off into seclusion, to find God through meditation and peacefully shed the body for the next life. But that is mythology - no longer valid in todays technolgy driven world. there is nothing wrong if we desire pleasure in our life.
But if some things make life pleasant, others make it miserable.Every day of our lives are filled with miracles large or small. Also, every day of our lives will find work, hardship and pain.This is life. Some days are joyful while others bring on tears of sadness.we should embrace each day with humility.We should make up your mind to be happy. Find pleasure in simple things. What I mean that we should not always strive for enjoying the life but should always try to do something meaningful in life.
Often we are fearful of criticism. But the fact is you can’t please everyone. So don’t let your critics run and ruin your life. The more you accomplish, the more resistance you will meet. Don’t borrow trouble. Imaginary problems are heavier than actual ones.
There are many ways we can make our life meaningful like:
Avoid people who make you unhappy.
Don’t hold postmortems– over your mistakes.
Do what you can for those less fortunate than you;
especially for those who have blessed your life

Keep busy. A busy person doesn’t have time to be very unhappy.
One should be strong enough to face this world everyday with confidence.At the sametime one should know his/her weakness so that they can make them strong enough to handle their problems. One should be willing to share his/her joys with their loved ones as by sharing these small moments the happiness get doubles.
And above all one should love the person who loves him/her and should give other the same respect
Work hard for those things you want in life....then take pride in your accomplishments and thank God for His help.
If you are unhappy, look inside yourself because that is where you will find true happiness. You may not be able to change circumstances but you CAN control how you handle them.
Be content with who you are and what you have but always strive for more.

Be clean.....of mind....heart......soul.....and body of course.
This is the way can really LIVE LIVELY every moments of life. And this is the real enjoyment!

Anger n love

While a man was polshing his new car , his four year old son picked a stone and scratched lines on the side of car . In anger , the man took the child's hand & hit it many times , not realizing he was using a wrench .
At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures . When the child saw his father with painful eyes he asked 'dad when will be my fingers grow back ? That man was so hurt & speechless. He went back to the car and kicked it many times . Devastated by his own actions sitting the front of the car he looked at the scratches and realised that child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD ' Next day that man commited suicide.
Anger and Love has no limits .......always remember that things are to be used & people are to be loved . But the problem is in today's world is that ,people are being used & things are loved ................
It is said that for every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. sometime anger can really damage you horrible .
तो क्या हमें एकबार अपने दिल से नहीं सोंचना चाहिए कि क्रोध हमेशा नुकसान ही पहुंचता है और साथ ही साथ रिश्तों को हमें हमेशा मजबूत करना चाहिए. जब मै सासाराम में रहता हूँ तो इसपर अक्सर चिंतन और मनन करता रहता हूँ
Now just one more:
girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle)
Girl: Slow down. Im scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug. (Girl hugs him)
Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on? Its bugging me.
In the paper the next day: A motorcycle had crashed into a building
because of break failure. Two people were on the motorcycle, but only
one survived.
The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his
breaks broke, but he didn't want the girl know about it . Instead, he had her say she loved him, but felt her hug one last time, then he gave his
helmet to her so she would live even though it meant he would die.
if u r really loving someone frm ur heart.....

Controlloing Emotions

Last nite i saw the ' Big Boss' programme on TV and the interview with KRK was really very interesting. He has been driven out of big boss house due to his violent behavior. AB rightly said that it is very important for us to control our emotions, particularly negative ones. Display of such emotions made us to loose everything. Emotions like Anger, Fear, Guilt, Depression, Resentment, Bitterness, Disappointment, Discouragement, not listening to others view, trying to force your view on others , all are really detrimental to a persons growth.
It is a fact that thousands of years ago we were threatened by wild animals who wanted to eat us. Now we more often feel threatened by other human beings, either psychologically or physically. And due to this we develop such emotions. Among these emotions anger is a very intense emotion. It can be used either in productive or counter-productive ways. It can lengthen or shorten our lives. It is like electricity. It is known that we feel strongly about something. As with every emotion, it has a lesson for us. It can help us become more aware of what we feel strongly about and which emotional needs are important to us. Sometimes we become angry after being provoked. But even in such situation, anger may not be always useful. Sometimes it may frightened your “enemy” but prolong expression of anger may even lead to serious health problems.
Some times we feel alone, lonely, rejected, discouraged, uninspired, used, abused, unproductive, misunderstood, etc. Together, all of these feelings drain our energy, kill our motivation, leading to development of depression. Irony is that depression do not led us to anywhere , in fact make things more complicated. In such situations we should take recourse to meditation and also support of our friends n loved ones including family members.
Lifetime relationships teach us lifetime lessons, our job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what we have learned to use in other areas of our life. For this we must build a solid emotional foundation.

Is Diwali for everyone?

Crores of Indians in the country and abroad are celebrating the festival of light, Diwali , this Saturday.It's the time of the year for the near and dearones to come together to rejoice and exchange gifts and sweets to mark this festival which commemorates the victory of good over evil. Diwali symbolizes the victory of light over darkness. Celebrated joyously all over the country, it is also a festival of wealth and prosperity.
But is it true that Diwali creates sparkle in everyone's life? NO, rightly No, when we are competing with neighnours in having more decoration , more crackers etc, we fail that some of our "neighbours" are still struggling for food. For them Diwali or no diwali , day remains the same.
Last week I just read an interview with A NRI CEO who is heading brook bond brand of tea in England. He rightly pointed out that with exception of TATA , business houses in India are doing little towards social sector in comparision to their western counterparts. He said that TATAs are their competitor in business but inspiration in social sector.he is planning charity work on a big scale soon in India.

Now the bigger question is - how should rich behave in a poor country?

Last week two newsitems are noteworthy:four Indian CEOs made it to the Forbes list of 10 wealthiest CEOs of the world and second one: naxals in Jharkhand beheaded a Police officers and some 200 naxals attacked Police station in Jharkhand. These two events should make us to think something beyond normal. It is a fact that almost half of India lives on less then 40 Rs a day!
One of our cabinet minister has suggested that CEOs should not take 'vulgar' salary. True many rich Indians indeed believe in vulgar display of wealth and arrogance during festival times and also during marriage time.And when poor are no more content with their Godgiven poorness they resort to violence in form of naxals.
Growing eliticism is not good for this country. It is duty of riches of this country to empower the poors by creating space for their growth. They should part with their fortune for this purpose.Meagre charity will not work. What needed is empowerment work on a large scale.

Otherwise 'India' and 'Bharat' will remain on collision path.

Working with passion

Follow your passion, and success will follow you - that's a very nice saying. And i do believe that it is only passion which makes you emotive. Emotive towards your work, emotive towards a person or a situation. it is not that I donot associate passion with my new place of posting,. I never mean that that place is not GOOD. that would be humiliating for persons living there. When you work with passion,you exhibit high energy and the ability to put 100 % focus on moving something forward no matter what the obstacles are. Even this energy is contagious and most of us are attracted towards this.
What I feel is that working environment there does not make me excited and so working with passion is difficult there.I just wanted to keep the momentum of my work going , which unfortunately has come to a standstill.I really do need to pursue my dreams instead of just being willing to accept any kind of thing in this organisation.That do make development of some negative feelings.
I know that the magic about working with passion is that it usually only takes a small belief in yourself to start making things happen.Everytime on the eve of my visit to that place I think that What is one small step I could take to move myself forward and begin working with passion tomorrow?
and what are the obstacles standing in my way?
There I am one man army.but ath sametime it is also said that one person with passion is better than forty people merely interested.That makes me to think that as of now I have no option but to work with passion in my job. I do need help of my loved one to keep me going.

Household works by husband

Once you get married, you become a complete man and you have a better half in the name of your spouse. Traditionaly, as they start their family life, it is the duty of wife alone to take care of entire household works including rearing and caring of children.At the same time, after the marriage according to the employment status and position of a spouse his or her role in the family varies. Suppose if the husband is employed and his spouse is a house wife, their role in the family gets divided - Husband by virtue of his employment earns for the family, his wife in the role of a house wife attends to the house hold duties like cooking , cleaning, washing and other house works. Their roles are clear cut and well defined.
In the modern days, since the economic burden is more pinching than any other burden, it has become customary to seek an employed girl as spouse. After getting married, since both spouses are employed, some problems do appear with respect to sharing household work.Many men use their higher income as an excuse not to do housework. They claim that because they make more money, they should be excluded from household chores.Men frequently claim they are too tired or stressed to help after spending long hours at the office. They need to relax when they get home, not to start preparing dinner or mingling with the children.Often, men will simply say they don’t know how to do housework to escape doing it. Well, many of them genuinely don’t know how but that’s only because they are too lazy to learn it.Although it do appear unfair but this has been a practice in our societies.
Last few days ,I faced a situation where I have to almost single handedly manage all the household works alone. I honestly admit it is really very difficult to set house in order, prepare children for school, arranging for their food after they return from school, bathing them etc.But at the same time it is very satisfying too. I feel that even if a wife is not working,she works just as hard at home, if not more. While the husband works eight hours a day, she works 24 hours. So it isn’t fair for her to do everything at home.

Life is not one way traffic. Once you get married, you become a complete man and you have a better half in the name of your spouse.if both of you are employed, your sharing of housework with your spouse is a must and according to the nature of your work, availability of time, proximity of your offices etc should be taken into account.At the same time there should not be any hard n fast rule.Honest realisation of situation is only required.

I remember a study in which wives were asked, which kind of husband they would prefer- a husband who would “make the bed” or a husband who would “perform better in bed". Surprisingly majority preferred the first one!

Your heart is my pinata

"your heart is my pinata" - a quotation used by American novelist and satirist Chuck Palahniuk. pinata means - A decorated container filled with candy and toys suspended from a height, intended to be broken by blindfolded children with sticks, and used as part of Christmas and birthday celebrations in certain Latin-American countries .Pinatas are fabulous creations, enjoyed the world over for their festive presence and promise of fun. These party decorations, made from brightly colored tissue and crepe paper, are popular attractions at children's birthday celebrations. In addition to their visual attraction, the pinata's popularity is heightened by the candies and toys hidden inside.

when i say your heart is my pinata, it means that your heart is a decoration for me , it is full of joy n fun. I can play with it the way I like. It includes a bit of shaking it in form of teasing etc. So you should take it easy and not get annoyed. I never ever intented to hurt you,rather intention is to tease you for getting some kind of fun. So do not explain. It is useless. No explanation ever explains the necessity of making one.
so any comment from me made from point of teasing you should be taken in right spirit.

I want to be very close to someone I respect and admire and have somebody who feels the same way about me.


I laugh, I love, I hope, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we're really not that different, me and you.

can money buys happiness

Many of us feel very happy when we get some xtra money in form of arrear payment, bonus, honrarium etc. It is generally believed that money can make you happy. How much this is true? For example- As a general rule, the higher the price of a hotel room the cleaner the room. If you pay more u will get more cleaner room, gud ambience and naturally it will make you happy. at the same time less money more problm in a hotel room which may even irritate you , what to talk about happiness.
However I will like to be more broad and say that this is not ultimate happiness. - Money can buy happiness, but only if you spend it on someone else.Spending as little as Rs 10 a day on someone else could significantly boost happiness. It will make you happy to your inner core and after sometime you will be able to see world in radically different way.
Even then this not all , to be happy is very complex thing. Sometime very little things can snatch your happiness, and sometimes even big achievements donot lead to happiness. Recently I read a beautiful piece on various aspects of happiness. Let me put some points from this.
Happiness begins with understanding that we are multi-dimensional creatures operating on four distinct levels: physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual. When all four dimensions are working in harmony it is much easier to achieve a state of inner peace.

These 4 Dimensions are equal in importance but impact our lives in very different ways. Learning the purpose and qualities of each helps you understand yourself and others more clearly and gives you insight into how you can improve your happiness quotient.

Physical Dimension
Health – Play – Pleasure
Tune in to how your body feels when you’re happy.

This dimension helps us experience life through our senses, body and the energy around us. When we nurture our physical being we are better able to deal with health issues, body image, stress and various stages of life like child-rearing, career building, midlife and retirement.

Intellectual Dimension
Reason- Logic-Performance
Practice quieting your mind each day, focusing on the moment

This dimension rules our minds and allows us to reason, apply logic, appreciate precision, quality and performance. It also allows us to learn, accumulate knowledge, make rational decisions and bring order to our lives. All of this is good, but many of us spend too much time in our intellectual being. Thinking about work, planning or thinking about the past and the future can overwhelm us. When this happens it’s hard to appreciate the moment and we miss many opportunities to experience happiness through our other dimensions.

Emotional Dimension
Relationships – Self Image
Notice how you feel when you focus on the positive.

Probably the most challenging of the dimensions, this heartland governs our relationship with ourselves and others. A healthy emotional dimension allows us to be self-assured, confident and understanding of others’ emotions. It also helps us establish and maintain fulfilling relationships. Too often we dwell on negative emotions and this causes us to block out all the good we can receive from the other dimensions.

Spiritual Dimension
Beliefs-Concepts-Creativity
Allow nature, beauty and creativity to be an everyday part of your life.

While most people think of spiritual as meaning religious, in dimensional terms it refers to our conceptual selves. It governs our belief systems and inspires creativity and passion. When our spiritual dimension is given its due, we see the world outside ourselves more clearly, open up to creative expression and access the positive characteristics of the other dimensions more easily.

life is truly priceless. One should take care of all the above dimensions and happiness will be at your doors.

What Gandhism means to me

Today is Mahatma's birth anniversery. This is a day when I never forget to just think over the relevence of gandhian ideals in todays world in general and also in my personal life.
Gandhi is certainly as relevant if not more for the country today. His vision for the country and his dreams for the community as a whole still hold good for India. He taught us that irrespective of obstacles you encounter, you should pursue the goals you have set. His ideals reflect true values of humanity and encourages to participate in tasks that would promote the greater good of society at large.
If we just look back to days when Gandhi was pursuing his aim thru non violence means, we can conclude it was a different world.One has to be reminded that in those days there was much less communication and hardly any knowledge of what was going on in far corners of the world. The sympathy of impartial outsiders uninvolved in the local issues was not easy to come by – since they did not know about the local issues till months,. Knowledge of government repression or police brutality – if they were known at all – by virtue of some daring reporter's exposé of government's actions, was way in the future. That is why in the Third World countries, the governments still try to control the media; and, for example, in the case of numbers of persons killed in a police shooting, they report much less than the actual numbers.
This made the task of communication far more difficult in those days. Gandhi had to garner sympathy from local inhabitants on the opposite side by his dignified moral actions, wherever he protested the brutal actions of inhuman regimes. Time and again he commanded and got the pledge of total non-violence from his followers in the face of extreme provocation and brutality. In the process, when non-violent protesters marched to protest some government action and the police acted against them by resorting to a baton charge or shooting, the local solidarity and sympathy of opponents tended to lie on the side of the non-violent protestors. And, thus, minimal physical harm resulted.
This lowering of hurdles led to larger mass participation in subsequent non-violent reactions to each police action or repressive regulation. It was both brilliant and effective tactics in those days of isolation, when sympathy had to be earned from among the local partisans of the opposition.

sadly we are missing these methods in any agitation these days and the cruel fact is that through violent methods some kind of success is also being tried to achieve, notwithstanding the fact that such achievement are no achievement and in fact they lead to more unrest and pain to human beings.
Although I have been great admirer of gandhi right from my childhood, it is only last year I was involved in a project on Gandhi. During this process I had a bit of nervousness with respect to quality n timely completion of project, even i had some kind of quarrel, wrangle and arguments with my colleague. Even a fall out with my project partner seemed possible. But as we moved on project, we got passionate with project and ultimately a beautiful programme was produced. I got a feeling of Gandhian philosophy which made me more considerate , caring, selfless and understanding. Today I have best kind of luv n friendship with my project partner. Such is the power of Gandhi. If you honestly try to understand him , he will make desirable changes in you.
what I also learned is that what you do , do it with passion n determination.Whether you are an ordinary person or a celebrity, you can do without passion only if you can do without life because it is passion alone that determines the extent to which you are alive.

Salute to this greatest MAN of 20th Century.