"your heart is my pinata" - a quotation used by American novelist and satirist Chuck Palahniuk. pinata means - A decorated container filled with candy and toys suspended from a height, intended to be broken by blindfolded children with sticks, and used as part of Christmas and birthday celebrations in certain Latin-American countries .Pinatas are fabulous creations, enjoyed the world over for their festive presence and promise of fun. These party decorations, made from brightly colored tissue and crepe paper, are popular attractions at children's birthday celebrations. In addition to their visual attraction, the pinata's popularity is heightened by the candies and toys hidden inside.
when i say your heart is my pinata, it means that your heart is a decoration for me , it is full of joy n fun. I can play with it the way I like. It includes a bit of shaking it in form of teasing etc. So you should take it easy and not get annoyed. I never ever intented to hurt you,rather intention is to tease you for getting some kind of fun. So do not explain. It is useless. No explanation ever explains the necessity of making one.
so any comment from me made from point of teasing you should be taken in right spirit.
I want to be very close to someone I respect and admire and have somebody who feels the same way about me.
I laugh, I love, I hope, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we're really not that different, me and you.
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
Monday, 5 October 2009
can money buys happiness
Many of us feel very happy when we get some xtra money in form of arrear payment, bonus, honrarium etc. It is generally believed that money can make you happy. How much this is true? For example- As a general rule, the higher the price of a hotel room the cleaner the room. If you pay more u will get more cleaner room, gud ambience and naturally it will make you happy. at the same time less money more problm in a hotel room which may even irritate you , what to talk about happiness.
However I will like to be more broad and say that this is not ultimate happiness. - Money can buy happiness, but only if you spend it on someone else.Spending as little as Rs 10 a day on someone else could significantly boost happiness. It will make you happy to your inner core and after sometime you will be able to see world in radically different way.
Even then this not all , to be happy is very complex thing. Sometime very little things can snatch your happiness, and sometimes even big achievements donot lead to happiness. Recently I read a beautiful piece on various aspects of happiness. Let me put some points from this.
Happiness begins with understanding that we are multi-dimensional creatures operating on four distinct levels: physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual. When all four dimensions are working in harmony it is much easier to achieve a state of inner peace.
These 4 Dimensions are equal in importance but impact our lives in very different ways. Learning the purpose and qualities of each helps you understand yourself and others more clearly and gives you insight into how you can improve your happiness quotient.
Physical Dimension
Health – Play – Pleasure
Tune in to how your body feels when you’re happy.
This dimension helps us experience life through our senses, body and the energy around us. When we nurture our physical being we are better able to deal with health issues, body image, stress and various stages of life like child-rearing, career building, midlife and retirement.
Intellectual Dimension
Reason- Logic-Performance
Practice quieting your mind each day, focusing on the moment
This dimension rules our minds and allows us to reason, apply logic, appreciate precision, quality and performance. It also allows us to learn, accumulate knowledge, make rational decisions and bring order to our lives. All of this is good, but many of us spend too much time in our intellectual being. Thinking about work, planning or thinking about the past and the future can overwhelm us. When this happens it’s hard to appreciate the moment and we miss many opportunities to experience happiness through our other dimensions.
Emotional Dimension
Relationships – Self Image
Notice how you feel when you focus on the positive.
Probably the most challenging of the dimensions, this heartland governs our relationship with ourselves and others. A healthy emotional dimension allows us to be self-assured, confident and understanding of others’ emotions. It also helps us establish and maintain fulfilling relationships. Too often we dwell on negative emotions and this causes us to block out all the good we can receive from the other dimensions.
Spiritual Dimension
Beliefs-Concepts-Creativity
Allow nature, beauty and creativity to be an everyday part of your life.
While most people think of spiritual as meaning religious, in dimensional terms it refers to our conceptual selves. It governs our belief systems and inspires creativity and passion. When our spiritual dimension is given its due, we see the world outside ourselves more clearly, open up to creative expression and access the positive characteristics of the other dimensions more easily.
life is truly priceless. One should take care of all the above dimensions and happiness will be at your doors.
However I will like to be more broad and say that this is not ultimate happiness. - Money can buy happiness, but only if you spend it on someone else.Spending as little as Rs 10 a day on someone else could significantly boost happiness. It will make you happy to your inner core and after sometime you will be able to see world in radically different way.
Even then this not all , to be happy is very complex thing. Sometime very little things can snatch your happiness, and sometimes even big achievements donot lead to happiness. Recently I read a beautiful piece on various aspects of happiness. Let me put some points from this.
Happiness begins with understanding that we are multi-dimensional creatures operating on four distinct levels: physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual. When all four dimensions are working in harmony it is much easier to achieve a state of inner peace.
These 4 Dimensions are equal in importance but impact our lives in very different ways. Learning the purpose and qualities of each helps you understand yourself and others more clearly and gives you insight into how you can improve your happiness quotient.
Physical Dimension
Health – Play – Pleasure
Tune in to how your body feels when you’re happy.
This dimension helps us experience life through our senses, body and the energy around us. When we nurture our physical being we are better able to deal with health issues, body image, stress and various stages of life like child-rearing, career building, midlife and retirement.
Intellectual Dimension
Reason- Logic-Performance
Practice quieting your mind each day, focusing on the moment
This dimension rules our minds and allows us to reason, apply logic, appreciate precision, quality and performance. It also allows us to learn, accumulate knowledge, make rational decisions and bring order to our lives. All of this is good, but many of us spend too much time in our intellectual being. Thinking about work, planning or thinking about the past and the future can overwhelm us. When this happens it’s hard to appreciate the moment and we miss many opportunities to experience happiness through our other dimensions.
Emotional Dimension
Relationships – Self Image
Notice how you feel when you focus on the positive.
Probably the most challenging of the dimensions, this heartland governs our relationship with ourselves and others. A healthy emotional dimension allows us to be self-assured, confident and understanding of others’ emotions. It also helps us establish and maintain fulfilling relationships. Too often we dwell on negative emotions and this causes us to block out all the good we can receive from the other dimensions.
Spiritual Dimension
Beliefs-Concepts-Creativity
Allow nature, beauty and creativity to be an everyday part of your life.
While most people think of spiritual as meaning religious, in dimensional terms it refers to our conceptual selves. It governs our belief systems and inspires creativity and passion. When our spiritual dimension is given its due, we see the world outside ourselves more clearly, open up to creative expression and access the positive characteristics of the other dimensions more easily.
life is truly priceless. One should take care of all the above dimensions and happiness will be at your doors.
Friday, 2 October 2009
What Gandhism means to me
Today is Mahatma's birth anniversery. This is a day when I never forget to just think over the relevence of gandhian ideals in todays world in general and also in my personal life.
Gandhi is certainly as relevant if not more for the country today. His vision for the country and his dreams for the community as a whole still hold good for India. He taught us that irrespective of obstacles you encounter, you should pursue the goals you have set. His ideals reflect true values of humanity and encourages to participate in tasks that would promote the greater good of society at large.
If we just look back to days when Gandhi was pursuing his aim thru non violence means, we can conclude it was a different world.One has to be reminded that in those days there was much less communication and hardly any knowledge of what was going on in far corners of the world. The sympathy of impartial outsiders uninvolved in the local issues was not easy to come by – since they did not know about the local issues till months,. Knowledge of government repression or police brutality – if they were known at all – by virtue of some daring reporter's exposé of government's actions, was way in the future. That is why in the Third World countries, the governments still try to control the media; and, for example, in the case of numbers of persons killed in a police shooting, they report much less than the actual numbers.
This made the task of communication far more difficult in those days. Gandhi had to garner sympathy from local inhabitants on the opposite side by his dignified moral actions, wherever he protested the brutal actions of inhuman regimes. Time and again he commanded and got the pledge of total non-violence from his followers in the face of extreme provocation and brutality. In the process, when non-violent protesters marched to protest some government action and the police acted against them by resorting to a baton charge or shooting, the local solidarity and sympathy of opponents tended to lie on the side of the non-violent protestors. And, thus, minimal physical harm resulted.
This lowering of hurdles led to larger mass participation in subsequent non-violent reactions to each police action or repressive regulation. It was both brilliant and effective tactics in those days of isolation, when sympathy had to be earned from among the local partisans of the opposition.
sadly we are missing these methods in any agitation these days and the cruel fact is that through violent methods some kind of success is also being tried to achieve, notwithstanding the fact that such achievement are no achievement and in fact they lead to more unrest and pain to human beings.
Although I have been great admirer of gandhi right from my childhood, it is only last year I was involved in a project on Gandhi. During this process I had a bit of nervousness with respect to quality n timely completion of project, even i had some kind of quarrel, wrangle and arguments with my colleague. Even a fall out with my project partner seemed possible. But as we moved on project, we got passionate with project and ultimately a beautiful programme was produced. I got a feeling of Gandhian philosophy which made me more considerate , caring, selfless and understanding. Today I have best kind of luv n friendship with my project partner. Such is the power of Gandhi. If you honestly try to understand him , he will make desirable changes in you.
what I also learned is that what you do , do it with passion n determination.Whether you are an ordinary person or a celebrity, you can do without passion only if you can do without life because it is passion alone that determines the extent to which you are alive.
Salute to this greatest MAN of 20th Century.
Gandhi is certainly as relevant if not more for the country today. His vision for the country and his dreams for the community as a whole still hold good for India. He taught us that irrespective of obstacles you encounter, you should pursue the goals you have set. His ideals reflect true values of humanity and encourages to participate in tasks that would promote the greater good of society at large.
If we just look back to days when Gandhi was pursuing his aim thru non violence means, we can conclude it was a different world.One has to be reminded that in those days there was much less communication and hardly any knowledge of what was going on in far corners of the world. The sympathy of impartial outsiders uninvolved in the local issues was not easy to come by – since they did not know about the local issues till months,. Knowledge of government repression or police brutality – if they were known at all – by virtue of some daring reporter's exposé of government's actions, was way in the future. That is why in the Third World countries, the governments still try to control the media; and, for example, in the case of numbers of persons killed in a police shooting, they report much less than the actual numbers.
This made the task of communication far more difficult in those days. Gandhi had to garner sympathy from local inhabitants on the opposite side by his dignified moral actions, wherever he protested the brutal actions of inhuman regimes. Time and again he commanded and got the pledge of total non-violence from his followers in the face of extreme provocation and brutality. In the process, when non-violent protesters marched to protest some government action and the police acted against them by resorting to a baton charge or shooting, the local solidarity and sympathy of opponents tended to lie on the side of the non-violent protestors. And, thus, minimal physical harm resulted.
This lowering of hurdles led to larger mass participation in subsequent non-violent reactions to each police action or repressive regulation. It was both brilliant and effective tactics in those days of isolation, when sympathy had to be earned from among the local partisans of the opposition.
sadly we are missing these methods in any agitation these days and the cruel fact is that through violent methods some kind of success is also being tried to achieve, notwithstanding the fact that such achievement are no achievement and in fact they lead to more unrest and pain to human beings.
Although I have been great admirer of gandhi right from my childhood, it is only last year I was involved in a project on Gandhi. During this process I had a bit of nervousness with respect to quality n timely completion of project, even i had some kind of quarrel, wrangle and arguments with my colleague. Even a fall out with my project partner seemed possible. But as we moved on project, we got passionate with project and ultimately a beautiful programme was produced. I got a feeling of Gandhian philosophy which made me more considerate , caring, selfless and understanding. Today I have best kind of luv n friendship with my project partner. Such is the power of Gandhi. If you honestly try to understand him , he will make desirable changes in you.
what I also learned is that what you do , do it with passion n determination.Whether you are an ordinary person or a celebrity, you can do without passion only if you can do without life because it is passion alone that determines the extent to which you are alive.
Salute to this greatest MAN of 20th Century.
Sunday, 20 September 2009
The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure
There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complete package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.This is what called as - The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.! There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them.
However sometimes I believe that Fear of failure is a minor barrier compared to lack of resources and lack of motivation to work hard enough to gain that success. Any reaction ?
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complete package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.This is what called as - The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.! There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them.
However sometimes I believe that Fear of failure is a minor barrier compared to lack of resources and lack of motivation to work hard enough to gain that success. Any reaction ?
Wednesday, 9 September 2009
Managing Self
Management = Manage + men + T(technolgy). so it is clear that in management we manage people and Technlolgy. Everyone is talking management now a days. Its importance is increasing day by day. All of us try to manage people at home, at office , at meeting places or practically everywhere. What we miss is that while attempting to manage others , we fail to manage self. We all want to be seen as competent and likable. But sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves and are in danger of maintaining that very image.We are responsible for everything that happens in our life. We should learn to accept total responsibility for ourself. If we do not manage ourself, then we are letting others have control of our Iife.
The prerequisites for successful self management are:
1. Health (this is most important - anything comesafter this)
2. Appearance ( Confident outlook in appearance is must )
3. Knowledge (Nothing new to write about its importance)
4. Attitude (Positive attitude even at worst time)
5. Skill
a. Communiaction skill
b. Presentation skill
c. Leading n Motivating skill
d. Time management skill
e. Creative skill
ALL THE ABOVE SKILLS CAN BE DEVELOPED WITH PROPER PRACTICE, GUIDENCE N PATIENCE. If we acquire all the above attributes, we will be successfull manager without any doubt.
Some additional tips:
+ Look at every new opportunity as an exciting and new-life experience.
+ If you catch yourself worrying about an upcoming task, go ahead and do it now so it no longer is a distraction.
+ Get into the habit of finishing what you start.
+ Give up "waiting time" forever. Have something with you at all times to work on. For example: plan your day, work on a report, or read a page from your book
+ Be a professional who exhibits self-confidence and self-assurance in your potential to complete any task.
+ Avoid worry. The majority of the things you worry about never occur.
+ Agree with yourself in advance that you will have a good attitude toward the upcoming task.
+ Take a chance-calculated risks pay off .
+ Frequently ask, "Is what I am doing right now moving me toward my goals?"
+ Plan the future, but live in the present.
And finally FIRST PRACTICE THEN PREACH, if you wish to manage others.
The prerequisites for successful self management are:
1. Health (this is most important - anything comesafter this)
2. Appearance ( Confident outlook in appearance is must )
3. Knowledge (Nothing new to write about its importance)
4. Attitude (Positive attitude even at worst time)
5. Skill
a. Communiaction skill
b. Presentation skill
c. Leading n Motivating skill
d. Time management skill
e. Creative skill
ALL THE ABOVE SKILLS CAN BE DEVELOPED WITH PROPER PRACTICE, GUIDENCE N PATIENCE. If we acquire all the above attributes, we will be successfull manager without any doubt.
Some additional tips:
+ Look at every new opportunity as an exciting and new-life experience.
+ If you catch yourself worrying about an upcoming task, go ahead and do it now so it no longer is a distraction.
+ Get into the habit of finishing what you start.
+ Give up "waiting time" forever. Have something with you at all times to work on. For example: plan your day, work on a report, or read a page from your book
+ Be a professional who exhibits self-confidence and self-assurance in your potential to complete any task.
+ Avoid worry. The majority of the things you worry about never occur.
+ Agree with yourself in advance that you will have a good attitude toward the upcoming task.
+ Take a chance-calculated risks pay off .
+ Frequently ask, "Is what I am doing right now moving me toward my goals?"
+ Plan the future, but live in the present.
And finally FIRST PRACTICE THEN PREACH, if you wish to manage others.
Saturday, 5 September 2009
Eyes are Windows to the Soul
I have just read a beautifull novel - Kite Runner - by Khaleed Housseni. In this novel a character named Ali has facial paralysis due to which he cannot move his any facial muscles leading to absence of any kind of facial expression. Even his voice has distorted to a level that he cannot express emotions in his voice. But still through his eyes, yes only through his eyes, he was able to exhibit his feelings and emotions. This is really soul touching. And so it has been rightly said that " EYES ARE WINDOWS TO THE SOUL"
Eyes are windows to the soul, because they express so much that we can see inside of a person through watching his/her eyes. When a baby is born, one of the first things she recognizes and enjoys focusing on is the human face! Part of what is so compelling is the eyes.
See if you can express an emotion through your eyes without moving any other part of your face! Which moveable parts are the most expressive? What is expressed when nothing moves on your face?
We wear masks every day as we relate to people we meet. We may not always want everyone to know our true feelings, or we may not even know them ourselves! One of the ways that we keep our inner selves hidden is through the contradiction of what our faces are saying and what our bodies are saying. But here again Eyes never lie !
Through your facial expression you may hide your real emotions but if I look deep inside your eyes , I know what you are feeling. Whether you are a bit uneasy, a bit tense , very happy but trying to conceal yr happiness publicly so and so.......
I was once a bit terrible mess. I never paid much attention to her at all. It is only after a incident which unsettled me that I just give a full good look at her eyes. I found them so kind full of love for me. All the pains which I was going through, her eyes said - I share your pain - This was enough for me to cool myself.
Her eyes radiate a kind of calm n happiness even in adverse time ! Her eyes always look for good in me.
A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and who can sing it for you when you have forgotten it. Thanx for being like that.
Eyes are windows to the soul, because they express so much that we can see inside of a person through watching his/her eyes. When a baby is born, one of the first things she recognizes and enjoys focusing on is the human face! Part of what is so compelling is the eyes.
See if you can express an emotion through your eyes without moving any other part of your face! Which moveable parts are the most expressive? What is expressed when nothing moves on your face?
We wear masks every day as we relate to people we meet. We may not always want everyone to know our true feelings, or we may not even know them ourselves! One of the ways that we keep our inner selves hidden is through the contradiction of what our faces are saying and what our bodies are saying. But here again Eyes never lie !
Through your facial expression you may hide your real emotions but if I look deep inside your eyes , I know what you are feeling. Whether you are a bit uneasy, a bit tense , very happy but trying to conceal yr happiness publicly so and so.......
I was once a bit terrible mess. I never paid much attention to her at all. It is only after a incident which unsettled me that I just give a full good look at her eyes. I found them so kind full of love for me. All the pains which I was going through, her eyes said - I share your pain - This was enough for me to cool myself.
Her eyes radiate a kind of calm n happiness even in adverse time ! Her eyes always look for good in me.
A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and who can sing it for you when you have forgotten it. Thanx for being like that.
Sunday, 16 August 2009
How to be happy in difficult situation
It is a wellknown fact that situation in a person's life keep on changing and that facing a difficult situation is simply part of your life. We want to change or get out of such situation at the earliest.People are normally negative and pessimistic by nature.We usually tend to come down on the side of negativity , bad feelings, anger and sadness. Moreover if you are in loving relationship then you expect some extra support from your partner and if the support is not up to your expextation, you feel more sad and some times depressed.
if this is the situation, it means that this is not a mature and mutually loving and giving relationship. When you feel like that and if you want to be happy in life you should stop for a while and develop some self-confidence in your own life. If a person is not happy alone he will not be happy in company with other person. A person must be happily independent before he can create a healthy and mutually loving relationship. Relationship should only add to an already happy life. When people are not very confident and happy in their own lives they look to others and better circumstances to make them happy and it never works. Then they become resentful and angry about it because they expected the other person to solve their own unhappiness, and end up miserable anyway.
People aren't taught to be happy. We aren't raised that way. Parents raise us to be responsible, to get a job, and to take care of ourself, but does that include happiness? We do the best we can. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to know whether people are truly happy or putting on a good show. You cannot look at someone's exterior and know what's going on inside. Are they living true to themselves, or are they living a lie of some sort?
I or anyone donot feel to be happy all the time . Why?
1.Somehow I have accepted my place last on the list of importance in my life. I seem to matter less than everyone else. I spend my time attempting to make everyone else happy and have never considered my own happiness.
2.I cannot say "no" to any request. I don't know how to stand up for myself and I hate the idea of confrontation. I cannot stand to not be liked so I go out of my way for people to like me. I am a good girl or boy and do as I am told. This isn't always happy, I don't feel like people really respect me, but it's a huge boost for my self-esteem .
3.I avoid things that need to be said or done. Either I deny the unhappiness in my life or I know it's there but refuse to address it.
4.Someone else is to blame for my unhappiness. It's not my fault. I refuse to accept responsibility for my life and, in so doing, I give my power to some entity outside myself to control how I feel inside. Being a victim keeps me powerless.
There are, of course, many other barriers to success and happiness. If you are not comfortable with feeling good, then you will avoid it. Unless you are consciously seeking a new experience, as a creature of habit, you will automatically do things the way you've always done them and you will want to feel the way that is most familiar and known to you, even if it doesn't feel good.
so the best way is:
Give yourself permission to be happy and to feel good, to be successful . That is the first step to change. Give yourself permission to go after what feels good for you. Take a life inventory and assess where you are right now and where, perhaps you are not so happy. Be rigorously honest with yourself because awareness is the power you need to make a difference. Happiness is created by eliminating the things that get in the way as much as it is by doing what you love. And often what needs to be eliminated is the junk that goes on in our heads. Happiness is really an inside job. Happiness comes with an untroubled inner world. Learn to align your mind and happiness will come easier and will be sustainable.
if this is the situation, it means that this is not a mature and mutually loving and giving relationship. When you feel like that and if you want to be happy in life you should stop for a while and develop some self-confidence in your own life. If a person is not happy alone he will not be happy in company with other person. A person must be happily independent before he can create a healthy and mutually loving relationship. Relationship should only add to an already happy life. When people are not very confident and happy in their own lives they look to others and better circumstances to make them happy and it never works. Then they become resentful and angry about it because they expected the other person to solve their own unhappiness, and end up miserable anyway.
People aren't taught to be happy. We aren't raised that way. Parents raise us to be responsible, to get a job, and to take care of ourself, but does that include happiness? We do the best we can. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to know whether people are truly happy or putting on a good show. You cannot look at someone's exterior and know what's going on inside. Are they living true to themselves, or are they living a lie of some sort?
I or anyone donot feel to be happy all the time . Why?
1.Somehow I have accepted my place last on the list of importance in my life. I seem to matter less than everyone else. I spend my time attempting to make everyone else happy and have never considered my own happiness.
2.I cannot say "no" to any request. I don't know how to stand up for myself and I hate the idea of confrontation. I cannot stand to not be liked so I go out of my way for people to like me. I am a good girl or boy and do as I am told. This isn't always happy, I don't feel like people really respect me, but it's a huge boost for my self-esteem .
3.I avoid things that need to be said or done. Either I deny the unhappiness in my life or I know it's there but refuse to address it.
4.Someone else is to blame for my unhappiness. It's not my fault. I refuse to accept responsibility for my life and, in so doing, I give my power to some entity outside myself to control how I feel inside. Being a victim keeps me powerless.
There are, of course, many other barriers to success and happiness. If you are not comfortable with feeling good, then you will avoid it. Unless you are consciously seeking a new experience, as a creature of habit, you will automatically do things the way you've always done them and you will want to feel the way that is most familiar and known to you, even if it doesn't feel good.
so the best way is:
Give yourself permission to be happy and to feel good, to be successful . That is the first step to change. Give yourself permission to go after what feels good for you. Take a life inventory and assess where you are right now and where, perhaps you are not so happy. Be rigorously honest with yourself because awareness is the power you need to make a difference. Happiness is created by eliminating the things that get in the way as much as it is by doing what you love. And often what needs to be eliminated is the junk that goes on in our heads. Happiness is really an inside job. Happiness comes with an untroubled inner world. Learn to align your mind and happiness will come easier and will be sustainable.
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
Time Management
Most of people often complain that they fail to fulfil their commitment due to lack of time. That is really shocking because everyone knows that we have been given 24 hour cycle and our life have to be adjusted into this and not vice versa. So it is really important to work smart then just to work hard.Only hard work may or may not give you desired result but smart work, it is gurrented. Let me quote from a article read just a few days ago- Ensure that you will be working smart, not just hard. Donot go fishing at the bathtub. Donot try to work up lather in a running stream.Instead, fish in a stream and work up lather in a bathtub. Set and evaluate your goals, estimate the quantum and quality of efforts to be invested in attaining the goals. Calculate the ROI(Return on investment)quotient carefully and then, and if you are convinced that the ratio is satisfactory, go ahead and work towards your goals. that is smart work and intelligent effort.
We have many desires and targets. We donot always gets what we want. Some of us are happy with what we get and others remain dissatisfied. Still others donot give up.Now the question is which approach is right one?
In a wider perspective, let us see in this way. You can have a desire. Put in your best effort to fulfil it. But make sure you enjoy the effort rather then its fruits. There are those who make the effort grumbling and are happy only when the desired is achieved. There are others who exhaust themselves making the effort to such a degree that they have no strength or enthusiam left to enjoy the fruit. The best way is however , enjoy the effort no matter what the effect.
It is always better to celebrate the march towards destination. If the destination is reached , we will be happy. If not, nobody can take away the sense of thrill at having run the race!Happiness should be derived not from reaching a goal but from strugle of attempt at reaching this goal. For example, playing cricket is one kind of joy, winning is another kind. So even if you lose the game no one can snatch from you the joy of playing the game. So one should enjoy the travel, enjoy the endeavour no matter what the result is.
so the bottem line is - ENJOY THE EFFORT NO MATTER WHAT THE EFFECT
We have many desires and targets. We donot always gets what we want. Some of us are happy with what we get and others remain dissatisfied. Still others donot give up.Now the question is which approach is right one?
In a wider perspective, let us see in this way. You can have a desire. Put in your best effort to fulfil it. But make sure you enjoy the effort rather then its fruits. There are those who make the effort grumbling and are happy only when the desired is achieved. There are others who exhaust themselves making the effort to such a degree that they have no strength or enthusiam left to enjoy the fruit. The best way is however , enjoy the effort no matter what the effect.
It is always better to celebrate the march towards destination. If the destination is reached , we will be happy. If not, nobody can take away the sense of thrill at having run the race!Happiness should be derived not from reaching a goal but from strugle of attempt at reaching this goal. For example, playing cricket is one kind of joy, winning is another kind. So even if you lose the game no one can snatch from you the joy of playing the game. So one should enjoy the travel, enjoy the endeavour no matter what the result is.
so the bottem line is - ENJOY THE EFFORT NO MATTER WHAT THE EFFECT
Monday, 10 August 2009
Shades of Friendship
We all have friends. People have tendency to divide friends into true , good and best friends. That is not unnatural because among friends we really develop some kind of extra intimacy with some one and rightly he/she is termed as true /best friend. And rest remains good friends. But to say that some friends are bad or even worst is not fair.Friendship is a pious word and you can not associate it for someone who is bad/worst for you. A friend may develop some bad habits , even he may become really bad in terms of social parameters, yet he may remain your friend, if his attitude remains the same for you.A bad person can be your good friend and at the same time a bad 'friend' can be a good person. that is what we say Interpersonal relationship. The moment a friend behaves in unfriendly manner / deceives you, he ceases to be your friend. He then becomes bad or worst person only. He at the most can be a nonfriend of you. A nonfriend does not deserve friendly treatment, he deserve proper courtsey and manner. A person can be your neighbour, your colleague , your co worker, your supervisor, your boss , your subordinate,your copassenger etc , they all deserve respect, courtsey and disciplined behaviour from you. Friendly behaviour should be reserved for friends only.Mutual trust is cornerstone of friendship. so one should be careful in choosing a friend.
Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true friend. Friendship is the most important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family , most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration. How do we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship?
The very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies. You will call your friend at any hour and talk without any thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk.
A true friend is a little more than a very good friend. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his/her own interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without any analysis or criticism. A true friend will come forward to help without any request and be with us in need without showing it or expecting anything in return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the extent possible by him/her.
A true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. A true friend is not an opportunist. if you have a true friend, treat yourself lucky.
But irony is that sometimes your really nice and good friend can give you a lesson, even hard lesson !
Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true friend. Friendship is the most important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family , most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration. How do we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship?
The very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies. You will call your friend at any hour and talk without any thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk.
A true friend is a little more than a very good friend. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his/her own interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without any analysis or criticism. A true friend will come forward to help without any request and be with us in need without showing it or expecting anything in return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the extent possible by him/her.
A true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. A true friend is not an opportunist. if you have a true friend, treat yourself lucky.
But irony is that sometimes your really nice and good friend can give you a lesson, even hard lesson !
Thursday, 30 July 2009
Life's crisis & friends
Over the years, I have discovered life is a journey, a pilgrimage, a sacred adventure. Within everyone’s inner solitude, there is that bright and warm hearth where the spirit dwells waiting to be roused.
Each of us from time to time experience crises from different life changing events and transitions, all unpredictable moments arriving and intruding into our “well groomed” lives. We didn’t ask for this interference and we wonder why it has arrived bringing with it havoc and confusion. BUT no matter what the source, each crisis has a common bond…a threshold.
And that threshold can be crossed easily if we have a true , really intimate friend who provide us emotional support throughout this crisis and help us to tide over the troubled period with ease. But that person should be one who has shown uninihibited love towards you and with him/her you can share anything, repeat, anything under this world.
During these times of roadblocks, dead ends and detours, we often choose to ignore serene advice from our loved ones as we become a bit irritant. We tend to bury or ignore them. But this is not good. If you truly love her/him then you must trust her too, bcz you should understand that he/she loves you too and that through their power of love you can gain sufficient strength , they can bestow wisdom and knowledge expanding your vision of life.
Celebrating, mourning or wrestling with a life passage is an extraordinary act. Slow down and be in touch with your feelings and also with your loved ones. Be kind and loving to yourself and to the person you really love. Act from your spirit and heart and don’t forget to be in touch with them.
Each of us from time to time experience crises from different life changing events and transitions, all unpredictable moments arriving and intruding into our “well groomed” lives. We didn’t ask for this interference and we wonder why it has arrived bringing with it havoc and confusion. BUT no matter what the source, each crisis has a common bond…a threshold.
And that threshold can be crossed easily if we have a true , really intimate friend who provide us emotional support throughout this crisis and help us to tide over the troubled period with ease. But that person should be one who has shown uninihibited love towards you and with him/her you can share anything, repeat, anything under this world.
During these times of roadblocks, dead ends and detours, we often choose to ignore serene advice from our loved ones as we become a bit irritant. We tend to bury or ignore them. But this is not good. If you truly love her/him then you must trust her too, bcz you should understand that he/she loves you too and that through their power of love you can gain sufficient strength , they can bestow wisdom and knowledge expanding your vision of life.
Celebrating, mourning or wrestling with a life passage is an extraordinary act. Slow down and be in touch with your feelings and also with your loved ones. Be kind and loving to yourself and to the person you really love. Act from your spirit and heart and don’t forget to be in touch with them.