The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complete package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.This is what called as - The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.! There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them.
However sometimes I believe that Fear of failure is a minor barrier compared to lack of resources and lack of motivation to work hard enough to gain that success. Any reaction ?

Managing Self

Management = Manage + men + T(technolgy). so it is clear that in management we manage people and Technlolgy. Everyone is talking management now a days. Its importance is increasing day by day. All of us try to manage people at home, at office , at meeting places or practically everywhere. What we miss is that while attempting to manage others , we fail to manage self. We all want to be seen as competent and likable. But sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves and are in danger of maintaining that very image.We are responsible for everything that happens in our life. We should learn to accept total responsibility for ourself. If we do not manage ourself, then we are letting others have control of our Iife.
The prerequisites for successful self management are:

1. Health (this is most important - anything comesafter this)
2. Appearance ( Confident outlook in appearance is must )
3. Knowledge (Nothing new to write about its importance)
4. Attitude (Positive attitude even at worst time)
5. Skill
a. Communiaction skill
b. Presentation skill
c. Leading n Motivating skill
d. Time management skill
e. Creative skill
ALL THE ABOVE SKILLS CAN BE DEVELOPED WITH PROPER PRACTICE, GUIDENCE N PATIENCE. If we acquire all the above attributes, we will be successfull manager without any doubt.

Some additional tips:

+ Look at every new opportunity as an exciting and new-life experience.
+ If you catch yourself worrying about an upcoming task, go ahead and do it now so it no longer is a distraction.
+ Get into the habit of finishing what you start.
+ Give up "waiting time" forever. Have something with you at all times to work on. For example: plan your day, work on a report, or read a page from your book
+ Be a professional who exhibits self-confidence and self-assurance in your potential to complete any task.
+ Avoid worry. The majority of the things you worry about never occur.
+ Agree with yourself in advance that you will have a good attitude toward the upcoming task.
+ Take a chance-calculated risks pay off .
+ Frequently ask, "Is what I am doing right now moving me toward my goals?"
+ Plan the future, but live in the present.
And finally FIRST PRACTICE THEN PREACH, if you wish to manage others.

Eyes are Windows to the Soul

I have just read a beautifull novel - Kite Runner - by Khaleed Housseni. In this novel a character named Ali has facial paralysis due to which he cannot move his any facial muscles leading to absence of any kind of facial expression. Even his voice has distorted to a level that he cannot express emotions in his voice. But still through his eyes, yes only through his eyes, he was able to exhibit his feelings and emotions. This is really soul touching. And so it has been rightly said that " EYES ARE WINDOWS TO THE SOUL"
Eyes are windows to the soul, because they express so much that we can see inside of a person through watching his/her eyes. When a baby is born, one of the first things she recognizes and enjoys focusing on is the human face! Part of what is so compelling is the eyes.

See if you can express an emotion through your eyes without moving any other part of your face! Which moveable parts are the most expressive? What is expressed when nothing moves on your face?

We wear masks every day as we relate to people we meet. We may not always want everyone to know our true feelings, or we may not even know them ourselves! One of the ways that we keep our inner selves hidden is through the contradiction of what our faces are saying and what our bodies are saying. But here again Eyes never lie !
Through your facial expression you may hide your real emotions but if I look deep inside your eyes , I know what you are feeling. Whether you are a bit uneasy, a bit tense , very happy but trying to conceal yr happiness publicly so and so.......
I was once a bit terrible mess. I never paid much attention to her at all. It is only after a incident which unsettled me that I just give a full good look at her eyes. I found them so kind full of love for me. All the pains which I was going through, her eyes said - I share your pain - This was enough for me to cool myself.

Her eyes radiate a kind of calm n happiness even in adverse time ! Her eyes always look for good in me.

A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and who can sing it for you when you have forgotten it. Thanx for being like that.

How to be happy in difficult situation

It is a wellknown fact that situation in a person's life keep on changing and that facing a difficult situation is simply part of your life. We want to change or get out of such situation at the earliest.People are normally negative and pessimistic by nature.We usually tend to come down on the side of negativity , bad feelings, anger and sadness. Moreover if you are in loving relationship then you expect some extra support from your partner and if the support is not up to your expextation, you feel more sad and some times depressed.
if this is the situation, it means that this is not a mature and mutually loving and giving relationship. When you feel like that and if you want to be happy in life you should stop for a while and develop some self-confidence in your own life. If a person is not happy alone he will not be happy in company with other person. A person must be happily independent before he can create a healthy and mutually loving relationship. Relationship should only add to an already happy life. When people are not very confident and happy in their own lives they look to others and better circumstances to make them happy and it never works. Then they become resentful and angry about it because they expected the other person to solve their own unhappiness, and end up miserable anyway.
People aren't taught to be happy. We aren't raised that way. Parents raise us to be responsible, to get a job, and to take care of ourself, but does that include happiness? We do the best we can. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to know whether people are truly happy or putting on a good show. You cannot look at someone's exterior and know what's going on inside. Are they living true to themselves, or are they living a lie of some sort?
I or anyone donot feel to be happy all the time . Why?
1.Somehow I have accepted my place last on the list of importance in my life. I seem to matter less than everyone else. I spend my time attempting to make everyone else happy and have never considered my own happiness.
2.I cannot say "no" to any request. I don't know how to stand up for myself and I hate the idea of confrontation. I cannot stand to not be liked so I go out of my way for people to like me. I am a good girl or boy and do as I am told. This isn't always happy, I don't feel like people really respect me, but it's a huge boost for my self-esteem .
3.I avoid things that need to be said or done. Either I deny the unhappiness in my life or I know it's there but refuse to address it.
4.Someone else is to blame for my unhappiness. It's not my fault. I refuse to accept responsibility for my life and, in so doing, I give my power to some entity outside myself to control how I feel inside. Being a victim keeps me powerless.

There are, of course, many other barriers to success and happiness. If you are not comfortable with feeling good, then you will avoid it. Unless you are consciously seeking a new experience, as a creature of habit, you will automatically do things the way you've always done them and you will want to feel the way that is most familiar and known to you, even if it doesn't feel good.

so the best way is:

Give yourself permission to be happy and to feel good, to be successful . That is the first step to change. Give yourself permission to go after what feels good for you. Take a life inventory and assess where you are right now and where, perhaps you are not so happy. Be rigorously honest with yourself because awareness is the power you need to make a difference. Happiness is created by eliminating the things that get in the way as much as it is by doing what you love. And often what needs to be eliminated is the junk that goes on in our heads. Happiness is really an inside job. Happiness comes with an untroubled inner world. Learn to align your mind and happiness will come easier and will be sustainable.

Time Management

Most of people often complain that they fail to fulfil their commitment due to lack of time. That is really shocking because everyone knows that we have been given 24 hour cycle and our life have to be adjusted into this and not vice versa. So it is really important to work smart then just to work hard.Only hard work may or may not give you desired result but smart work, it is gurrented. Let me quote from a article read just a few days ago- Ensure that you will be working smart, not just hard. Donot go fishing at the bathtub. Donot try to work up lather in a running stream.Instead, fish in a stream and work up lather in a bathtub. Set and evaluate your goals, estimate the quantum and quality of efforts to be invested in attaining the goals. Calculate the ROI(Return on investment)quotient carefully and then, and if you are convinced that the ratio is satisfactory, go ahead and work towards your goals. that is smart work and intelligent effort.
We have many desires and targets. We donot always gets what we want. Some of us are happy with what we get and others remain dissatisfied. Still others donot give up.Now the question is which approach is right one?
In a wider perspective, let us see in this way. You can have a desire. Put in your best effort to fulfil it. But make sure you enjoy the effort rather then its fruits. There are those who make the effort grumbling and are happy only when the desired is achieved. There are others who exhaust themselves making the effort to such a degree that they have no strength or enthusiam left to enjoy the fruit. The best way is however , enjoy the effort no matter what the effect.
It is always better to celebrate the march towards destination. If the destination is reached , we will be happy. If not, nobody can take away the sense of thrill at having run the race!Happiness should be derived not from reaching a goal but from strugle of attempt at reaching this goal. For example, playing cricket is one kind of joy, winning is another kind. So even if you lose the game no one can snatch from you the joy of playing the game. So one should enjoy the travel, enjoy the endeavour no matter what the result is.
so the bottem line is - ENJOY THE EFFORT NO MATTER WHAT THE EFFECT

Shades of Friendship

We all have friends. People have tendency to divide friends into true , good and best friends. That is not unnatural because among friends we really develop some kind of extra intimacy with some one and rightly he/she is termed as true /best friend. And rest remains good friends. But to say that some friends are bad or even worst is not fair.Friendship is a pious word and you can not associate it for someone who is bad/worst for you. A friend may develop some bad habits , even he may become really bad in terms of social parameters, yet he may remain your friend, if his attitude remains the same for you.A bad person can be your good friend and at the same time a bad 'friend' can be a good person. that is what we say Interpersonal relationship. The moment a friend behaves in unfriendly manner / deceives you, he ceases to be your friend. He then becomes bad or worst person only. He at the most can be a nonfriend of you. A nonfriend does not deserve friendly treatment, he deserve proper courtsey and manner. A person can be your neighbour, your colleague , your co worker, your supervisor, your boss , your subordinate,your copassenger etc , they all deserve respect, courtsey and disciplined behaviour from you. Friendly behaviour should be reserved for friends only.Mutual trust is cornerstone of friendship. so one should be careful in choosing a friend.


Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true friend. Friendship is the most important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family , most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration. How do we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship?

The very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies. You will call your friend at any hour and talk without any thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk.

A true friend is a little more than a very good friend. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his/her own interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without any analysis or criticism. A true friend will come forward to help without any request and be with us in need without showing it or expecting anything in return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the extent possible by him/her.
A true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. A true friend is not an opportunist. if you have a true friend, treat yourself lucky.

But irony is that sometimes your really nice and good friend can give you a lesson, even hard lesson !

Life's crisis & friends

Over the years, I have discovered life is a journey, a pilgrimage, a sacred adventure. Within everyone’s inner solitude, there is that bright and warm hearth where the spirit dwells waiting to be roused.

Each of us from time to time experience crises from different life changing events and transitions, all unpredictable moments arriving and intruding into our “well groomed” lives. We didn’t ask for this interference and we wonder why it has arrived bringing with it havoc and confusion. BUT no matter what the source, each crisis has a common bond…a threshold.

And that threshold can be crossed easily if we have a true , really intimate friend who provide us emotional support throughout this crisis and help us to tide over the troubled period with ease. But that person should be one who has shown uninihibited love towards you and with him/her you can share anything, repeat, anything under this world.

During these times of roadblocks, dead ends and detours, we often choose to ignore serene advice from our loved ones as we become a bit irritant. We tend to bury or ignore them. But this is not good. If you truly love her/him then you must trust her too, bcz you should understand that he/she loves you too and that through their power of love you can gain sufficient strength , they can bestow wisdom and knowledge expanding your vision of life.
Celebrating, mourning or wrestling with a life passage is an extraordinary act. Slow down and be in touch with your feelings and also with your loved ones. Be kind and loving to yourself and to the person you really love. Act from your spirit and heart and don’t forget to be in touch with them.

How to deal difficult people

Have you ever wondered why some people are difficult to work with?
Individuals behave in a difficult manner because they have learned that doing so keeps others off balance and incapable of effective action. Worst of all, they appear immune to all the usual methods of communication and persuasion designed to convince or help them change their ways
How to Cope
Avoid these “don'ts” when dealing with difficult people:
Don't take difficult people's behavior personally. Their troublesome behavior is habitual and affects most people with whom they come in contact.
Don't fight back or try to beat them at their own games. They have been practicing their skills for a lifetime, and you're an amateur.
Don't try to appease them. Difficult people have an insatiable appetite for more.
Don't try to change them. You can only change your responses to their behavior.
Here's how you can cope effectively with following common types of difficult people.
The Complainer
There's always one person in a office who can never find anything about which to be happy. If he's not complaining about his health or family, he's complaining about his job, the company, or even his superior. Of course, some of her complaints may be legitimate, but the incessant whining is getting on your nerves. Generally, the complainer isn't looking for advice so offering it probably won't do any good. Change the subject whenever the bellyaching begins. Your colleague should get the hint after you do this repeatedly.
The Delegator
In almost every workplace you'll find someone who wants to share his work with his colleagues. I am not talking about those who have a legitimate reason to delegate work to others .I am speaking of those who either can't do all the work they have been given or don't want to do it.. Tell your coworker you have your own work with which to deal.
The Credit Grabber
The credit grabber does not acknowledge any help he receives from others. he accepts all the praise for a successfully completed assignments without mentioning that he didn't do it alone. The first time this happens, consider it a mistake. Mention it to your colleague and ask him to let others know about your participation. If he doesn't, or if this happens again, make sure you let others know about the role you played in getting that project done. Then, unless you are mandated to work with this person, refuse to help out again.

How to say no

We say yes to people because it's easy. Learning to say no is like learning anything: it seems really scary at first, but it's so rewarding when you get the hang of it!
The trick to saying no is doing it firmly without sounding rude. You must avoid being wishy-washy. Here are some lines you can practice:
· If someone asks you to take on more responsibility than you need: Sorry, This is not not the kind of work i am supposed to do . You please take care of this.

· If he asks you to do something you don't feel comfortable with: This sounds like it would be a great opportunity for somebody, but it's not right for me.
· If somebody tries to push work off on you: Thank you for thinking of me, but I will have to say no. I'm just over-scheduled at this time.

· If somebody tries to overload you with a task: I can't do that because i am already overburdened

· If somebody tries to unload a problem on you: I understand your situation, but sorry I can't help.

Here are some tips:-
1. Listen to the request respectfully. Do not interrupt the speaker.
2. Phrase your "no" as simply as possible. Don't raise your voice or become upset, simply say that you cannot help this time. When you say no, say it in a confident, well modulated voice to sound more straightforward.
3. Don't feel obligated to explain. You have your reasons and they may not be ones you wish to discuss. If this is the case, try saying something like, "I'm just not able to." Leave it at that - if you must, change the subject, or say, "I'm sorry, but I need to go."
4. Explain simply, and only if you wish to do so. If the case really is one that you feel okay explaining, make your explanation as simple as possible.
5. Stand firm. If the requestor does not want to accept your answer, tell him that your mind is made up and that you will not change it.

• When You Have to Say Yes
  There will be times when you want to say no but you can’t. A conditional "yes" may be necessary if you know you should do something but you also know you don't have all the time or resources. An example of a conditional yes is: "Yes, I'll do this but rest will have to done by you.

Saying no is all about gaining respect. Gain respect for yourself by saying no when it's necessary. Gain the respect of others by saying no in a polite way.

Importance of taking break from work

It has been worldwide recognised that periodically taking breaks from your work is absolutely necessery for personality development.One feel well-rested, energetic and bursting with new ideas. I strongly believe that taking time off from your job is not only desirable, it's imperative. If all you do is work, what can you possibly bring to your job but more of the same? ... the same perspective on things, the same ideas, the same way of doing things. Spending time away from work allows you to explore other interests which will make you well-rounded. Breaks from work will let you see things with a fresh eye enhancing your creativity and problem-solving skills.

If you begin working early in the morning and don't quit until bedtime, there will be no room in your life to focus on anything but your job. So make sure you take some time for non-work activities at regular intervals in addition to regular vacations. Here's how one can spend some of his time away from work:
· Read a good book (non-work related, of course)
· Keep up with world news, sports etc.
· Travel for pleasure
· Volunteer your time
· Talk to people with whom you feel free and who are really close to your heart
· Enjoy a hobby

All these ideas are great but what to do if a break is forced upon you? I think the same priniple applies here too and that is the best way to cope up with the problems you are facing.